If I had the brain (many of my cells departed during the birth of both children, followed by several sleepless nights), or the desire (science and math ain't my thing), or the quiet time (what's that?), I would invent the following baby things:
* A contraption to hang around the crib that catches pacis, blankies, or anything else that the newly-mobile child will throw in his quest to fight sleep. Think: gutter.
* A magic rug of sorts that is placed under the high chair and immediately swallows up all sippy cup spills, cracker crumbs, bits of cheese, glops of yogurt and cottage cheese, noodles, and bits of veggies and fruits that tend to get thrown all over the place.
* The same type of magic rug, but in high chair form that also instantly sanitizes and removes stains.
* Scrubber pads that can be attached to the bum and knees of my crawler. This serves two purposes - to protect his chapped knees/legs/feet, and to also clean my new wood floors.
* A blankie that immediately wraps its arms around the babe and soothes him to sleep. It would also instantly give the same effect of a hand on the tummy or back when the babe wakes up and doesn't know how to put himself back to sleep.
* A sippy cup that truly is spill-proof. Because, mamas, we know this really doesn't exist.
* A coffee mug that has the capability of warming itself up after three hours of no drinks due to chasing kids around, cleaning up messes, and down-right getting distracted enough from enjoying one of the best beverages around. I'm thinking something similar to a candle warmer, but in the mug form.
* An alert that sounds loud and clear (for dads to hear!) when they pull the last dipe out of the drawer. This would prevent many frustrations in the middle of the night of "Why didn't you tell me you used the last diaper?!" Same goes for wipes.
* Shirts that are stain-proof in the following categories: food, poo, and outdoor elements.
* Shirts for mama that have a cool-down effect and don't cause buckets of sweat to drip everywhere after lugging a preschooler and 10-month-old around in the 100-plus degree heat and humidity.
* Infant and convertible car seats that have mini-fans or air conditioners attached to them for those times you leave your car out in the sun and it's way too hot to put the kid in the car, but all you want to do (or have to do, due to disciplinary reasons) is go home. Same goes for heaters in the winter.
It's a start. More to come!