Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Nervous Nellie

"Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." - Phil. 5:6, ESV (emphasis added)

I went to bed last night with butterflies in my stomach. Woke up with the same ones - but I think they grew about 10 times in the last eight hours!

One of my weaknesses is that I'm a worrier. I remember worrying about everything in school and sports growing up. I triple-checked my gym bag to make sure I packed socks and basketball shoes and that the right color of uniform was in there on game days. I woke up early to go over notes and squeeze in last-minute study sessions even though I knew the material up and down. I would set two alarms on days when I knew I needed to get up extra early, just in case the first one didn't go off (even though I would toss and turn all night worrying that I wouldn't hear either one!).

I've moved on to more "mature" worries. I worry when Jack is sick, when Mackie is sick, or if I'll go into labor when Jack's away and I have no way of getting a hold of him. (okay, so I'm not as worried about the last one, but Prairie Hills Middle School can be expecting a phone call on their land line if my water breaks between the hours of 7:50 a.m.-3:50 p.m., Monday through Friday - his cell phone is worthless in that cement block of a building!).

Right now I find myself anxious about some pressing issues in life right now. The first (and most obvious) being the birth of our son. It's the fun, anticipation stage of when will it happen? Am I progressing? Is he head down and ready to enter the world? Do I have enough work done to cover for a few weeks if he does come early? This morning we'll hopefully find out some answers, as I start my weekly check-ups with the doc.

Ironically, right before my appointment this morning, my future - and my Hutch Rec family's future - will be discussed at a City Council meeting. We have no CLUE what they're going to discuss and if they'll decide anything. It's a long story - one that I've briefly touched on in past posts - but let's just say it's been wearing on our entire staff to not know our future fate. We all wonder the what-if's and it can truly drive a person nuts dwelling on it for several months time.

I keep going back to God's Word and promises during these anxious times...and the fact that worry is a SIN! It shows God that I want to control the situation and depend on myself or man for the end result instead of completely relying on Him.

Lord, forgive me for falling trap to this sin. And thank you for refining me through these big-time life situations going on right now. You are in CONTROL and your plans are PERFECT for my life!

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