Monday, May 7, 2012

Fear and Trembling

It's amazing how a matter of hours and circumstances can change your attitude with our Holy God.

On Friday night, I was praising God and thanking Him over and over again for our (finally!) healthy babies and the first week in ages that we didn't have to visit the Hutchinson Clinic. I couldn't wait to go to church on Sunday because - for the first time in a month - we'd be able to go as a family and to both church and Sunday School! (families with young children understand the rarity in this during sickie season, as in recent weeks we've had to service "swap" or stream online - a ministry that fulfills a great need, by the way!)

By Saturday night, though, the same sovereign and holy God seemed to be making life tough for me (again) as far as health-related issues in our family goes. And I didn't like it. And instead of going to His Word and leaning on Him for comfort, I began to fear and tremble. (not the good kind of fear and trembling, either)

Jack has had some lingering health issues in recent days and weeks. What started as temporarily losing peripheral vision soon turned into a continual headache, dizziness, pressure on top of his head, and a tingling/numbing sensation in his extremities. He went to the eye doctor last Monday - the first time in 30 years he's had to go in for "vision" problems. Turns out his eyes were fine, vision perfect, and doc sent him home with  a diagnosis of  possible migraines.

He endured throughout the week, thinking his symptoms were somewhat related to giving up his beloved Mt. Dew cold turkey. On Friday, however, he had enough of the tingling and numbing sensations, along with the constant headache, and told me that he was going to call his doc first thing on Monday morning.

The call happened this morning - but it wasn't to his family doc, rather a neurologist.

Just before midnight last night, Jack experienced a unique tingling sensation that spread across his chest, shoulders, and arms. They started to go numb. And to a 30-year-old man who's had mitral valve prolapse and high blood pressure, it was time to see a doctor - right away.

We sped off to the ER - a blur in between my tears, fear, and anxiety - and thankfully saw a doctor within 20 minutes of checking in (that never happens....especially on a Saturday night. Thank you, Lord!). He did an initial check and then started talking about tests to do to rule out the fears that I had in the back of my mind all week: brain tumor, hemorrhaging, blood clots, heart problems, etc, etc.

CT scan, chest x-ray, and blood work all came back clear - again, Praise God! ER doc - like the eye doc - thought it was possibly migraine-related, even though Jack doesn't have all of the "classic" migraine symptoms. He did a trial drug in the ER that a majority of the time gives relief to patients. It didn't work, so instead of spending the night trying drug after drug or being admitted into the hospital, Jack opted to go home and get some much-needed sleep (it was 2 a.m. at this point).

Since we don't have any answers, we were sent home with instructions to call the neurologist first thing Monday morning to try and figure out what's going on with the constant tingling and numbness sensation in Jack's hands, arms, shoulders, calves, and feet. We're now having to "fight" the medical care fight and see our family doc even though he'll refer us to the neurologist - all because insurance won't cover the visit to the neurologist if we skip seeing the family doc. (I can now see why people get frustrated with our medical system!) This appointment will take place on Tuesday afternoon.

Jack could definitely use prayers as we start trying to figure out what's going on in that body of his. And I could use some prayer for my love-hate attitude - because at times I'm definitely failing God's tests and His precious words found in James 1:2 - "Count it all JOY, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds...."

More updates to come!


Lindsay Y. said...

Praying for you all!

Fish said...

Thanks for sharing! This lets me know SPECIFICALLY how to pray for you and your family. Tell Jack we are praying for him and wisdom for the docs (you as well!). Love to you and your family, friend!

momof4 said...

We'll be keeping you guys in our prayers.