Sunday, April 5, 2015

An Unplanned Easter Weekend

I love Easter weekend and the celebrating that goes with it. There's nothing better than spending a holiday weekend filled with worshipping Jesus, family gatherings, and our favorite race, the Easter Sun Run 10K and 2-mile. 

Our celebrations, though, took a sharp detour right as our weekend began. I awoke to severe cramping and pain on Friday morning - the worst pain I have experienced in recent memory. However, I was distracted by having no power in our house (due to a storm the evening before), and so we packed our bags and headed to grandma's house.

Not an hour at grandma's, and my pain greatly increased. Jack convinced me to go to the Clinic and in a whirlwind of hours, tests, and indescribable, curl-in-a-ball pain, they found a hemorrhaging cyst on my left ovary. 

Off I went with a prescription for heavy-dose drugs and strict orders to rest (which wasn't a problem because I could only lay in one position that didn't want to make me cry).

Instead of attending Good Friday baptism service (a favorite of mine!), I was in and out of a state of reality while Jack played super mom and super dad.

Instead of running a strong and hopefully PR and medal-worthy 10K on Saturday, I kissed my hubs and babies good-bye as they headed to Wichita without me- the first time I ever missed that race.

Instead of running alongside my sweet girl in her 2-mile race, I settled for text updates and pictures from sweet family and friends.

Instead of Easter egg hunting and eating Mexican food with the Conkling clan and cousins, I was passed out in my bed and forced applesauce down to take the drugs without getting sick.

Instead of getting dolled up for church on Sunday morning and taking family pictures, I hobbled outdoors to snap a few pics of my sweeties before I crawled back into bed in pain.

Instead of worshipping at church today, I sang "Christ the Lord Has Risen Today" to my computer screen and live-streamed service.

Instead of gathering with the Preston-Brawner clan on the farm, I nestled in my bed (again) for a nap while my babes ate Easter dinner and hunted for eggs with their grandparents and cousins.

I had many pity parties this weekend, not going to lie. It was an anticipated weekend that suddenly turned into one of loneliness, pain, and quiet while the world around continued to celebrate.

But the weekend provided lessons in great humility and conviction. I had let the traditions and events of Easter weekend consume me, not THE reason of celebrating. I had let my desires of racing strong and pride of running take over doing it for God's glory.

Today's Easter sermon grabbed a hold of my heart in so many ways, including: Trials make us teachable. Yes, they tend to teach us many things, but ultimately trials allow us to truly learn God's mighty promises and plans for our lives. It was a wake- up call to grasp His promises and realize they are personal to ME, not just a general statement that works for everyone else but me.

God, thank you for sending your only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for ME. For MY sin as I was destined to hell. ME! My faith isn't defined as knowing you and saying the right 'textbook' answers, but instead truly living out YOUR plans, not claiming I live for you but making my own agenda and plans behind the scenes. 

You created me, Lord, and know me best. ME! Thank you, Lord. And thank you, Jesus, for your ultimate sacrifice on my behalf. 

And thank you, sweet family and friends, for your continued prayers and help this weekend. Praise God, the pain is slowly subsiding and I'm weaning off the meds as of this afternoon. I'll get more answers from the doc at a follow-up appointment tomorrow. 

God Bless and Happy Easter! Jesus Christ is risen today....HALLELUJAH!!

No comments: