I had some BRAVE and big goals for running this year after a humbling, gulp-worthy, teachable 2017 (and 2016...and 2015).
Last year I felt I was slow. Sluggish. Not really feeling the running, though I still loved it. I just wasn't in racing mode. And I didn't care. And I didn't care that I didn't care.
I needed a year (or two?) for God to truly humble me. To make me busier with my family, my career, my LIFE beyond running. To give me different priorities and desires of the heart.
That's why - as I sat down to an open pad of paper in late December 2017 - I felt a bit giddy as those flickers of competitiveness and drive pitter-pattered inside of me. I hadn't really felt that pitter-patter since I had been laid-up from am emergency female surgery that halted my plans to run a 4th marathon just three weeks later. I was bound and determined to race that 4th marathon I had trained so hard for months later. And while I accomplished that, I hadn't really felt that pitter-patter since.
Fast forward to this spring. Two races in to 2018, and I walked away from each of them feeling accomplished and that I had given my best effort - not defeated and wondering if I had just gone out slower or if I hadn't taken that short walk break or if I had sprinted a bit harder at the finish line.
This past weekend I ran Prairie Fire Spring Half Marathon in the heat. 60s at the start, beating down sun, and warming up to the mid 70s by the end. (These temps don't seem hot - but when you've trained all winter and spring/winter/April of blizzard, rain, bitter cold temps, it seemed like a sauna!). I slightly tweaked my ankle at Mile 7.5. Felt the race would never end in the shade-less, person-less, boring miles of 8-10. And yet, I finished in 1:59:36 - making my goal (barely!) of finishing a race this year in under two hours.
I'm so stinkin' excited by this small victory. I didn't run under 2 hours in all of 2017.
So I walk away from this race (and Easter Sun Run 10K race from March) hopeful. Glad the pitter-patter giddiness is back and enjoying it's return.
The giddiness may take another vacay. But it's here right now. So I'm going to use it as I bravely move forward.